When you’re in a particular state of mind, you don’t know if it’s right to stay in a relationship or leave. People who have a lot of experience with relationships – both staying curling and leaving – can offer you some advice from their own perspectives.
But, when you’re feeling really bad because you are not sure what to do, you may want some rigid solution. As I have also gone through a similar situation, my experience may help you whether you should leave or you should stay curling relationships.
It’s my own story in brief:
When I was 23 years old, I met a girl named Angela (changed–name). We met through Facebook and hit it off immediately.
She was (and still is) beautiful, smart, funny and independent. I fell for her quickly but she wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time. She told me that she just wanted to be friends with me and that she might see where things will go in the future.
Naturally, I was disappointed but I had no choice but to accept it because it’s what she wanted. We hung out regularly and enjoyed every moment together. The time I spent with her changed me for the better. It was amazing to be around someone like her; so I proposed to her again for another chance to be together. This time, she said yes and we started dating.
But there was something that bothered me from the second day that we started dating. I felt like she wasn’t into me as much as she claimed to be – and it showed in her attitude as well.
When I asked what’s wrong, she said that she just needed more time alone after a long-term relationship with a guy who treated her very badly. She didn’t want to commit to anything at all because of this and instead just wanted some space for herself.
I felt bad for her because she lacked confidence in herself. But I also understood very well that she couldn’t be in a relationship with someone like me anyway – she still had a lot of trust issues because of her past relationship with her ex. And that made me feel very sorry for her, too.
But I still tried to make my relationship work, hoping that all the effort and time I put into it would lead to something more serious. I needed to show Angela that we were meant for each other and not just friends. After all, I was crazy about her and wanted nothing less than our future together.
I’ve done everything in my power to show her that I was different from her ex-boyfriend. After six months of dating, it seemed like she was starting to develop serious feelings for me as well.
So I asked if we should start planning for our future together – like marriage and kids. But surprisingly, she said no; she still wasn’t ready for any commitment at all. That’s when I knew for sure that there was no future for me in our relationship; I had to leave even if it meant breaking my own heart.
The decision wasn’t easy but ultimately, it’s what we both wanted because neither of us were happy with each other anymore.
I was very sad and heartbroken when I broke up with her but it was the right thing to do. It was also a great lesson for me in terms of relationships. But I want you to learn from my experience and not your own, so that you can stop wasting your time with someone who’s not good enough for you – even if they are good people:
1) Stay curling if you have strong inclination towards and trust in your partner and all they need is some time to open up their heart to yours. If someone is truly worth it and you can tell that they are, wait patiently for them. It might take a while but the wait will be worth it.
2) Leave if you realize that they are standoffish and have a lot of trust issues.
If you find yourself in this situation, don’t waste your time with them because they will probably drag your life down with their own issues. You don’t need someone who’s not going to give you something back in return for what you’ve given them.
3) Don’t stay curled if the relationship was your idea in the first place. You can argue all you want about how much effort and time you put into it but the truth is, it was your choice to be with them at first – not theirs.
4) Stay curling till you can feel that things may still go uphill.
They may not be willing to change for you, but it’s still your decision to leave. If things are not good, there’s no point in staying together because things will never change anyway.
When you know what the right thing to do is, then do it. Even if you don’t feel like it at first – just do it out of love and respect for yourself and your partner – because they deserve better than what they are getting from you.